dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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