if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
