Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Randomize
