areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
how drunk are you?
Several
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
