i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
