Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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