that's an acceptable place to lick
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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