im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
