I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
