In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
