I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
