Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
