I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
