Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
