When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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