I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i out mim tonsoeep
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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