Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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