if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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