Are we in a gay sports bar?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
