I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
