The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
