I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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