By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
is wine microwaveable?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
