Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
