Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
