Duck Duck Cougar?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
