i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
