do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
