I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
