i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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