I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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