I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
