i just google imaged poop.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
