So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
nutella sex= disaster
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
