I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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