just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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