Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
