A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it because I queefed?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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