Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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