I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
