they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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