Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
