we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
