shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
