Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
