drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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