Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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