I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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