I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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