next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
