I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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