Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
FUCK WHALES
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
