I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
