Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
