I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
