it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
