I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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