If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
