It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
